This post has been hanging around my drafts for quite some time now with no title, so I settled on ‘Compromise Is A Bitch’.
I’ve been a little funny about putting this out there incase it comes across wrong. I can guarantee it probably will and then you’ll all want to burn me and never want to hear another word come out of my fingertips. Oh well, here we go. I’m going for it… Compromise is a bitch and I am not prepared to succumb to it. What a cow bag, what a stubborn actual cow bag. But it’s true. I’m at a point in my life where I feel like I should be compromising, but I really don’t want to. There are no rules, I get that, but a part of me feels like I should be settling, and with this ‘should be settling’ feeling I have in my early 30’s comes compromise.
There are reasons why this drifts in and out of my tiny mind. Others are so far forward in life and in order to catch up I don’t want to compromise. I know it’s not a race and it’s just me and the Pressure Of Love I have flaking around, but why should I compromise to please others?
Something just doesn’t sit right.
This time last year it suddenly dawned on me in my cog mill of a head that I just can’t compromise. Maybe not so much can’t but won’t. I know this sounds ever so selfish, but I have always been a compromiser. I always want others to be ok before I can even think about putting myself out there. So that was it. I was done in. I couldn’t be bothered, I couldn’t be arsed. Good old google says, ‘Compromise is an agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.’ Well where do I start? I don’t like the word ‘settlement’ and I don’t like the word ‘dispute’ Far too negative for me. Let’s try another, ‘Compromise is the expedient acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable.’ Absolute yak, even worse if you ask me, acceptance of standard lower than desirable? I think i’ll pass. You can keep compromising to yourself, even if times a ticking.
However, that was last year.
I came to terms with it, I rode the dating wave and again failed like a trooper. You know me, I don’t really know what you were expecting. As soon as I was at peace with my decision, like happy as Larry, content with my book pile and murder documentaries, I stumbled across a sleep talking, porridge loving, trainer hoarding boy that was right on my doorstep. And I haven’t had to compromise one single thing, not one teeny, tiny thing. I mean, the fact I was as blunt as a spoon with my zero compromising rule may have shed some light into what I can and can’t give to another being. But he’s around, he’s taking my zero patience and zero ketchup eating with a pinch of salt. He makes my life fuller, funnier and full of adventure. And I haven’t had to compromise a thing.
If you feel you should be compromising and it just isn’t sitting well with you, don’t do it. Stay true to yourself, and enjoy doing the things you like, you never know whats around the corner.