I Am Calm

I am calm

I Am Calm……

And may I introduce you to the first lie of 2019 Ladies & Gentlemen.

I do not make a habit of lying, FYI. Only about how many hours of Candy Crush I play. Yup. This is still happening and I am still stuck on this dated game. I also maybe, just maybe, lie about how many Bourbon Biscuits I can consume in one sitting. But that my friends is about as bad as I get.

So why say I am calm when I am clearly the opposite?

Because I want to be calm! I want to be the calmest of calm! I want to feel all the calmness seep into my veins and I want feel like a floaty calm cloud.

I was gifted Calm, The Journal this Christmas from a “pal”. I weeped when I was given it as I know that this is something that I need to welcome into my life with open arms.

I am also extremely spectacle on all this mindfulness and what not. I do not knock it for one bit that it changes lives. I have seen that first hand but to be able to apply this to myself and my routine, well, that is another story.

I opened the book and I read the ‘Hello’ & ‘How To Use This Book’ chapters and cried. I sobbed my little heart out as the words just hit me hard. I guess this is something I really need to invite into my life right now.

Calm – The Journal is where you can write down your daily stresses to help you find your peaceful centre, or so Fearne Cotton states. Each and every day you put pen to paper and jot down some seasonal prompted questions.

For example, 1 January – You list all the things you want to see, hear, experience and feel for the next 12 months. I completed this, but it took a while to really think it out and I feel fully satisfied with my jottings down.

2018 brought a whole load of change, experiences, adventures and opportunities and I am grateful for all of these. I haven’t had chance to sit and really look back yet but I shall leave that for a lazy Sunday.

I have looked back on my 2018 – ‘You Do You’ post and I can’t believe that was written a year ago. It feels like yesterday. Reading the post over I am happy with how I did 2018. I wouldn’t have changed anything or done anything differently. Ok maybe one or two things but I made it through in one piece. Just.

This year I was fully expecting to feel the same as I did at the start as 2018. But I didn’t. I didn’t get the tummy twisting feeling at the start of the month which is odd considering I probably should with the million things going on in my head. On reflection I have not been comparing myself half as much in 2018 to others and being harsh on myself. We all have our ups and downs but I have been a lot stronger and can snap out of it faster than I have before.

I said to myself I would take 2018 as a half half year. Half long goals and half short. In all honesty the year has blown by in a blur. A truck load of changes and I still can’t believe so much can happen in one year.

This year I fancy another take on how to tackle the year. I have some things I need to conquer but 2019 I am going to just roll with you and go with the flow. I am going to just do it. I am going to hold onto my hat and buckle in and just see what the devil happens.

I hope 2019 brings you all what you wish for. Sometimes life ain’t easy but if we put our minds to it and give it our best shot we can’t say we didn’t try.

Happy (belated) New Year All 🙂

Photography // Diana Da Silva


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